The Boring Pitiful Project
by BLUEslushPUPPIES
Summary: The title sounds bad, I know, but I assure you the story is good I hope. PHEELY! R&R please!
1. I Dare You

It was a normal hectic Friday, and Mr. Hackett was acting weird as always in class. It was the last period of the day and Phil was almost jumping up and down in his seat watching the clock, Mr. Hackett's babbling always meant nothing. Tick-tock, it went, still 15 more minutes left, and it was like time was always slowing down. It was always like that in boring classes, time slows down just to make fun of you.

"Okay class, now that you understand everything that I just said, some of you will need to pick partners for this boring pitiful project I am going to assign to you."

Everyone piped up, boring pitiful project? Aw man, bad luck always happens on Friday the 13th, or on April 20th same thing. "And since there are more boys in this class, I am going to let the boys come up here." Keely nudged Phil who was almost asleep, Phil woke up and went up infront of the class with the other boys. "Now what I want you to do is pick a piece of paper out from the stupid looking top hat my Aunt gave me, and read aloud your assignment."

The first boy picked a piece of paper and was a little confused with the words on the paper, "Your wife is pregnant, what the?"

"So Brandon, that means that you will need to choose a wife and plan out what you're going to do to prepare for the baby, you have 100,000 dollars to get started," Mr. Hackett said, very proud of himself, "And here's a ticket that you have to give your pregnant wife."

"Really, I get 100,000 bucks?" Brandon was about to cheer when…

"No Brandon, you're getting fake money, pretend you have that amount of money and for example, find out the price of your furniture your going to buy, and write it down, and keep track of your money!"

The next boy stuck his hand in the top hat and pulled out a piece of paper, "Your grandma died, plan funeral."

"Yes Patrick, you have 100,000 dollars to spend on your funeral, so all you need to do is plan a funeral."

Then Phil came up and stuck his hand in the tall top hat, Phil pulled out a piece of paper and read, "You're getting married, plan your wedding." All the girls started whooping.

"So Phil, all you need to do is choose Keel—umm, your fiancé and plan out your wedding with your lucky girl, and you have 100,000 dollars to do this." Mr. Hackett gave Phil a yellow ticket, "You have to give this to your partner to say that your together, don't lose this."

When everyone was given a task, Mr. Hackett announced something that nobody would expect he would announce before, "Class, I don't know why I am doing this, but I am. The people with yellow tickets! Your homework is to find a partner for your task, and the ones with no tickets," Mr. Hackett let out a sigh. "You guys have no homework." Then the bell rang at the moment he finished his sentence, and everyone cheered and ran out to the hallway.

Phil stopped by Keely's locker and waited for her to come out, Keely came barging out from the doors, it was like a stampede in the hallways, after all, T.G.I.F. When Keely was about to blabber on and on about her day, he stopped her just in time.

Keely got confused, "What Phil?"

"Keely Teslow, I have a dare for you. I dare you to…" Phil pulled out a yellow ticket, "…Marry me."

Keely's eyes sparkled at the ticket and smiled, and snatched it from his hand, "Dare accepted."

A/N: Sorry if this is short, I'll make my other chapters longer.


	2. For Real?

A/N: Now I've got the hang of new layout, it was very confusing!

It was Saturday night and Keely was sleeping over at Tia's place, they had been gossiping about their project and what they were doing. "So, since _I _told you that I accepted Seth's ticket for me being his pregnant woman, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I'll tell you when the project's finished."

"C'mon Keely, I'm dying here! At least tell me what you're doing!"

"Okay," Keely said, "But _only _what I'm doing."

"Okay I get it Keely, shoot!"

"I accepted a ticket to be a boy's fiancé!" Tia's mouth dropped, they both squealed.

"Well, who did you get the ticket from? You've got to tell me!"

"You promised, I'll tell you after the projects."

"Fine," Tia pouted.

"Hey, I have a fun thing we could do."

"What?"

Keely, who totally forgot that Tia didn't know Phil was from the future, took out the new-ager thingamabob she stole from Phil an hour ago. Tia looked at it as if it grew legs and walked off, "This—uh oh, my bad."

"Keely what is that?" Tia reached over and tried to grab it, but Keely jerked it away, "Keely…"

"Fine, I'll tell you, but you have to promise that you won't tell, otherwise Phil would hate me and some people will come and take his family away." Tia nodded; she didn't want Phil and Keely to get separated, for many reasons.

"Okay, Phil is from the future and this thing here, you just put the number in here and you become that age, and it's from the future." Tia was fascinated by all of this, so fascinated that she had to go to the bathroom.

Soon it was the very cruel lazy Monday when everyone tries to drink coffee but it doesn't work. Another good work by time, Mother Nature makes the time go faster when you're having fun so they can tease you for fun. Back in Mr. Hackett's class, everyone was buzzing about their projects, who would be Brandon's pregnant wife? Will Phil cancel his wedding? Who is his fiancé? Will Patrick screw his grandma's funeral? Gossip and rumors were starting to form, true ones; I heard Brandon had a hard time finding a wife who would want to be pregnant with his baby! And fake ones; I heard Phil didn't find a fiancé because Keely blew him off!

When the door of Mr. Hackett's classroom opened, it wasn't Mr. Hackett, it was a different teacher. She had brown hair and brown eyes, and was real high on the cool clothing that are worn on teachers rate.

"Hello class… uh, I would be your…uhh… sub today, my name is Ms…. uhh… she looked outside. Ms. Sunshine," she smiled at everyone.

Keely knew that person from anywhere that was Tia! Keely put her hands on her face, Tia could be so clueless. "So I see here in Mr. Hackett's lesson plan that all of you who had ummm… those tickets you need to bring 'em up here so I could write down your pairs."

Keely got up with Phil, 'Ms. Sunshine' was watching her get up to her desk with Phil, 'Ms. Sunshine' smiled, "Thank you Keely, Phil. NEXT!" Keely couldn't wait until this class was over.

During lunch Phil, Keely and Seth just hung out with each other today, since Tia wasn't around, "Hey Keely."

Keely looked at Seth.

"Do you know where Tia is today?"

"Oh, yeah, she said she didn't feel well so she stayed home and such." Seth gave a knowingly look.

"Did you see Mr. Hackett's substitute today? She is so weird." Phil said looking at Keely and Seth.

"Oh yeah, she was very… very weird." Keely said who was trying to eat her sandwich but kept having to answer questions and stuff.

That day after school, Keely and Phil went to their favorite smoothie place and started planning their 'wedding'.

"So like, why don't we figure out who we are going to invite today, then get some chairs and a few tables tomorrow, then try and find a piano player and a piano the next day?" Phil said being all organized and everything.

Keely was writing everything down, "Then we can take a break the next day, then find decorations the next day, then find the location the next day, then buy our clothes the next day. Man, we might even get 2 things done everyday, and we have 2 whole months on this project!"

"We're good," Phil and Keely hi-fived each other, "Wait Keely, do we have to present this? Do we have to pretend we're getting married for real?"


	3. Right Infront of You

A/N: Sorry for the delay, here is chapter 4!

Phil and Keely were having a little emergency; they had a question for Mr. Hackett, and it certainly couldn't wait until tomorrow, they needed to know now! Phil and Keely were running to Mr. Hackett's house, or what Mr. Hackett called a house. You are probably wondering how Phil and Keely got a hold of Mr. Hackett's address, but when you have Phil's futuristic gadgets and technology, you don't need to ask.

When Phil and Keely finally got to Mr. Hackett's house or small house, they rang and rang the doorbell. But Mr. Hackett didn't answer the door, a soaking wet old lady in a pink dress robe, shower cap, and holding a back scrubber that was covered in soap suds did though. The old lady looked Phil and Keely both in the eyes and asked, "What do you land lubbers want?" Phil was too shocked at what the old lady was wearing that he didn't know what to say, "um… ah."

"Answer me boy!" And the old lady tried whacking Phil in the head but he ducked, good thing, too.

Since Keely noticed that Phil was having trouble talking she said, "We're looking for Mr. Hackett."

Then the old lady lowered her back scrubber, "Oh… fine. Hackett, get your lazy bum down here, you have visitors!" Then she walked away muttering away under her breath.

Mr. Hackett appeared with some cheap beer in his hand wearing a dirty t-shirt, "Oh, it's you; I thought it was the IRS," Phil and Keely looked at each other, obviously Mr. Hackett was having problems with his tax payments, "Look, what do you "newlyweds to be" want?"

Keely ignored his sarcasm and asked, "Will we have to present our projects, Mr. Hackett?"

Mr. Hackett sighed, "Yes, but all you have to do is write your paper of your "marriage" plans, the school will take care of presenting your project, everyone will present their project, but only infront of our class, the school always has this project so they just use the stuff from last year, but you students have to take care of dressing yourselves! And look, I was going to tell you kids this tomorrow, why can't you be more patient, and how did you get my address?" Mr. Hackett didn't wait for them to answer and just slammed the door in their faces.

Back at Phil's house, everyone and everything was quiet. Not one sound was made, this was quite unusual since something was always going on in the Diffy's house, and it started getting too quiet.

"So Phil, you do know how weddings work right?"

"Yeah, the bride's relatives sit on one side, and the other relatives sit on the other side, then the groom comes out, then the bride comes with her father, then the father sits down, the priest says some stuff, then says, "You may now kiss the bride," then the bride and groom kiss, then the priest announces us husband and wife.

"Yeah, you do know we're going to have to kiss, right?"

"Yeah," said Phil slightly blushing.

Then Keely said something unexpectedly, "You… want to practice?" She blushed as red as a tomato, expecting a 'no'.

Phil smiled, "Okay." They each sat on either side of Phil's bed, they got closer, closer, closer, and they were one inch away when…

"Phil! Do you know where my um… jacket is?"

Phil sighed, good timing Pim, "I don't know ask Mom!"

Keely smiled, "We can practice tomorrow I have to go." Keely gathered her things and left. Phil sighed and flopped down onto his bed.

"You know you're going to have to do that much quicker than how you did that earlier."

Phil spun around, it was Pim, "You mean you actually saw us?"

"Duh, otherwise I wouldn't be here talking to you about it."

"I'd never thought I'd say this, but you're right, when we present this, it's going to be a lot faster."

"Has that ever come to your mind? Now you get my point, nobody wants to go through a wedding with someone getting married having their first kiss! What's wrong with you?"

"Pim, you might not give the best advice but what should I do?"

"Look Phil, I don't want to play Dr. Phil. Besides, the answer is right infront of you!" And Pim walked out the door. 'Wow,' she thought, 'I never knew I could be wise.'

Phil laid down, "Yeah, it's right infront of me."

A/N: Pim should be a therapist, sorry if she was out of character.


	4. Mission Accomplished

A/N: Sorry if it's not so detailed, I'm not very good at putting words on a piece of paper to fill it up, I'm just right to the point you know? Know what I mean?

It was Friday and Mr. Hackett decided to change the due date of their project earlier, so that they would have more time to practice presenting their project. Everyone booed and threw paper balls at Mr. Hackett, but the due date hardly mattered to Phil and Keely who just sat there, their paper was all done and all it needed was to be typed up.

Keely through a paper ball at Phil, and he looked her way confused. Keely passed him a note, it said:

_Phil, _

_Meet me after school at my house anytime, well not really, anytime before 6:00pm, we need to work on typing up our paper. I can't meet you at your locker since I need to talk to Tia about something, see you there._

Phil folded the note and put it in his pocket, and he started putting his stuff away, there was only 15 seconds and counting left till the bell rang.

13…

12…

11…

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Brrring!

The bell rang, and as always, Phil and Keely were the first two out, since they were smart enough to know when the bell rings. Keely went to Tia's locker looking for her; she was always changing into something different to go shopping after school. Then she finally found her, "Tia, we need to talk."

And since Tia didn't know the "meaning" of the those 4 words, she just went on babbling, "Good, 'cause I do, too. Do you think this outfit is okay?"

Keely sighed, "Whatever, do you know when I had that weird substitute teacher?"

"Yeah, of course," Tia said not knowing where the conversation was going.

"My substitute "Ms. Sunshine", was _you_ wasn't it?" Keely said squinting her eyes.

Tia sighed knowing she was caught, "Fine! I was just curious who you were paired up with!"

"But Tia, you almost made Phil suspicious!"

"No I didn't," said Tia.

"Okay he wasn't, I just don't want you snooping into my business."

"Look, I'm sorry, but it was always that way before, I would… do something, why are you so concerned over this anyways?"

"Well, it's different now, we're not—some people change Tia." And Keely walked off, with Tia thinking about why she was such a crabcake today.

After school, when Phil knocked onto Keely's door, he heard a squeal, and he ran into the room, "What is it Keel?"

"Omygosh Phil, we are so going shopping tomorrow for my "wedding" dress," she said grinning from ear to ear, "You want to come?"

"Sure I'd come Keel."

"Yes! Thank you thank you thank you so much…" And before Keely started babbling, Phil pulled her into a kiss. When Phil realized what he was doing, he held back and stopped.

Keely was in awe, "Phil, what was that for?"

Phil rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, you _did _say you wanted to practice," he laughed nervously.

Keely laughed, "First of all Phil, it's obvious you have never kissed a girl before, and you don't do it like that, and second, this is how you do it." And Keely grabbed Phil's t-shirt which surprised him and made his shoulders hunch up. Keely waited until he relaxed a little, and she forced her tongue through his mouth (A/N: If you have never had your first kiss like Phil, then this could be an experience lol.). They fell into heaven; it was like magic, nothing moved, time didn't exist and everything revolved around them. And after what felt like forever, they parted and everything took speed trying to catch up to the normal routine of time. Time is something everyone despises now; it's like a mischievous devil playing tricks on everyone.

Keely blushed like mad, "Right… um… let's get to work on that paper," she headed for the computer.

But Phil just stayed put staring blankly at nowhere, "Phil?" Keely was kind of scared.

"Phil, are you okay, your so pale," she put her hand on his forehead.

Then Phil went from white to red, "Yeah," and he put Keely's hand down, "I'm fine."

"Look Phil, if it's about the kiss, I'm really sorry I… was just giving you some pointers and stuff…"

"So when was your first kiss?"

"Huh?"

"When was your first kiss?"

"Oh—it's kind of weird," Keely laughed, and when she saw Phil was serious she asked, "Do you really want to know?"

"Sure," Phil said making himself comfortable.

"Okay, when I was like 6 years old, I had Tia as my friend and Mickey, my other friend, he was a boy if you were wondering. And he was just like you Phil, seriously, his—he was like you. So like one day, I was still awake in bed, when I went downstairs to get something, I don't know what though. When I went into the living room, I saw my Mom and Dad watching a movie, it was black and white, and since I was bored from lying in bed, I just stood there and watched. It was about a couple who tried to afford all their 7 children. And then I saw the married couple kiss, and I never saw it before. When I went to school the other day, I told Tia and Mickey about it, and they were very interested in it. Mickey asked me if I wanted to try it later after school, and I agreed. At my house Mickey and I tried it, and we thought it was nothing so I let it go."

"Wow, you can remember that far?"

"Yeah, I can always remember it. Then when I went into Middle School, it was a big deal, and Mickey moved away, and I was stuck with Tia. Everyone made a big deal about having a boyfriend, and everyone asked when I got my first kiss."

"They didn't believe you didn't they?"

"They didn't, so I just made a lie and said I never did."

"Oh, okay."

"We're running out of time, let's get the paper done."

"You're right let's get to work."

About an hour later, Phil's fingers were doing acrobatics across the keyboard, and they were half done with the typing! "Hey Phil, at least we practiced the exciting part of the wedding." Keely smiled at Phil.

"Yeah, now all we have to do is…" Phil said typing up a storm.

"…is go shopping!" And Keely danced all across her floor.


	5. Oh Yaw!

A/N: Here is your chapter 5!

"Phil! Let me in! We need to go shopping, how long does it take to get a cool t-shirt on?" Since Phil promised Keely he would go shopping with her, she insisted that he wear a cool t-shirt not to kill the natural environment of the shopping mall.

"It's not the t-shirt!"

"What then?"

"Since Seth tried looking cool today, and gave me a noogie, it messed up my hair, that's why I wore my sweater hood!"

"That's it, if you're working on your hair then I'm coming in!"

"Wait, wait, wait just one moment!" It was too late, Keely was already in.

"Oh my god, Phil, you're a skeleton! What happened?" Keely laughed so hard she fell over.

Phil sighed, "I sat on the new-ager, so just help me with the new-ager! Do you know how hard it is to be a skeleton?" Keely pressed the button, and Phil was back to normal.

"Wait Phil, don't we need to be a little bit older than we are now? We don't want anyone thinking we're a couple of idiots trying to be stupid."

"Since you put it that way, you can be 21 years old," Phil pressed in the numbers and Keely turned 21.

"Alright, and since you're the man… you can be 12 years old," Keely joked.

"Hey, I'll do it myself!" And Phil turned 24.

"Wow Phil, you look awesome!"

Phil held out his arm, "Shall we?"

Keely took it, "We shall."

They finally found the only wedding store in the entire mall after 15 minutes walking around the entire mall, it was called 'What Makes Weddings Worth It'. Keely was looking around at the poofy and frilly dresses, "These are definitely not my style, these are all…"

"Old fashioned?"

"Exactly, I want something more elegant that wouldn't make me look fat!" Someone must have over heard because a tall lady with big shiny teeth who looked like just had a face lift, came over to Keely, "May I help you?"

"Oh yes, um… I'm looking for a dress that's silky, elegant, with no ruffles, not very revealing, not old fashioned…"

'Wow,' Phil thought, 'Girls are pretty specific in what they want,' Phil looked around, there were lots of couples and a few girls who were giggling and fantasizing about their wedding, there were young and old couples and some just daydreaming.

"… And no long sleeves," Keely grinned, expecting for tons of dresses in her arms.

"Oh yes, we might have a few dresses in this section for the younger couples," the tall lady said taking them to a section, "Now, we have this long elegant one that will drag on the floor, this light blue one, this pink one, this tan one, this white one with a design at the bottom that looks like a cheetah and will also drag on the floor, and…"

"Wait, wait, hold up there lady!" Keely said holding her hand up like a cop, the lady was astonished, "I'll try this one and this one and this one and of course… the cheetah." Keely ran off into the changing rooms. Phil sat down in a chair near the changing rooms; a lady was sitting on a chair next to him.

The lady spoke to him, "Are you expecting any kids?"

Phil jumped at the word kids, "K... k… k… kids?"

"Yeah, I can tell, she's a little fat in the middle." Phil tried to explain they were just working on a project but the lady just kept on talking, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

So Phil just played along, "A… a… we're expecting twins!"

The lady clapped, "Fraternal or Identical?"

Phil lay back in his chair, "Uh… fraternal!"

The lady gasped, she was just like a young girl, "oh yaw!"

Then Keely walked out, she was wearing the cheetah dress, "Phil, I feel I should take this, it so fits me!"

Phil got up almost immediately, "Keely, if the lady asks when your "twins" are due, just play along, she kind of thought you were pregnant."

Keely gasped and turned red, "Phil!"

"I tried explaining to her! Just play along, anyways how much is the dress?" Keely looked at the tag, "500 smackaroonies?"


	6. The Wedding

A/N: Sorry if the last chapter was kind of short, this one might be a bit longer.

"Wait hold up? You're asking 500 dollars from this pregnant woman?" The lady who sat next to Phil earlier said.

The tall lady thought she was crazy, "Of course, what do you expect? We treat each other equally around here!"

The other lady stuck her nose up and walked to Keely, "When is the baby due honey?"

"Um… In 9 months?"

"And what job do you have?"

"Um… I… I don't have… a job," Keely said looking at Phil nervously.

"Oh my lord, here is 500 dollars," the lady handed the money to Keely, "You should have at least a good wedding, by the way my name is Ann Chovy," and she walked away. Keely shrugged and went to go change; she checked her stomach and noticed it was quite large.

Keely cried in Phil's room, "That's it, I'm fat, I'm so fat," she sobbed. Keely looked at her stomach and noticed it was a bit large in the middle; she put her hand on it, wanting to conceal it.

"C'mon Keel! Sit still so I could turn you back to 15!" Phil pressed some buttons and she changed back to 15, then Keely stopped crying, "Now then, that wasn't so bad was it?"

"Wait Phil, the place where it was large, it's gone!"

"Wait a minute; were you pregnant when you were 21?"

"Phil is that possible?"

"Yeah, you are what you are in the future."

"Oh my god, then who's the father?"

"It doesn't matter anymore, here, it's already late, you can sleep here, we need to go to school and plan the project anyways."

It was the day of the "wedding"; they were the second to present their project, so Phil and Keely were very stressed out. Phil was in his "dressing room" which was really the boys' bathroom, and Keely was in her "dressing room" which was really the girls' bathroom, everything seemed fake, since it was raining outside and the "wedding" would be noisy during class time, the whole school had to watch the wedding, but they did have an advantage to see Seth and Tia's project before the wedding. Even the foods served were fake, well not exactly, the cocktail weenies were really hotdogs, and the champagne was apple juice. Keely was already done getting dressed into her cheetah dress, and she wore an elegant bun in her hair held up with chopsticks.

Tia kept Keely company, "Oh my god, this is your big day Keely, you're going to get married!"

"Tia for the last time I'm not really getting married, this is just a project."

"I guess, but imagine that you were really getting married…"

"I did that once with Mr. Potato Head!"

"But this is Phil, your all time friend forever, your BFF! Imagine in college, when you were just out of class, and you ran into Phil, he knelt on one knee and he surprises you with a big huge diamond ring that I wanted for Christmas!"

"Tia, let's not get carried away, look we only have…"

"…15 minutes left! C'mon Seth, like I'll really marry Keely!" Phil said, his hands trembling.

"Did you ever imagine marrying Keely? Imagine that you'll see her every morning drinking coffee the way girls drink soda, you'll see her, well… no details."

"Seth I don't have time for this we have like…"

"…7 minutes left Tia!"

"Okay, jeez, at least you know how to tell time. Come on, we need to touch up your hair!"

"Okay, but make it quick, because soon, I'll have to…"

"Go Phil, you have to be there before everyone else, even the priest!"

"Wait, who's the priest?"

"Who cares? Go!" Phil ran up the aisle and stopped at the end of the hall, he looked at all the people starting to get to there seats, and he wished he just had to watch his wedding, someone was even video taping. Phil had butterflies playing tag in his stomach; he just wanted to get this over with. Now everyone was seated and staring at him, Phil could feel more butterflies joining in playing tag in his stomach. Phil's heart was beating, his tongue felt thicker, now he was really hot under his tux, then finally music started, it relaxed him a little.

Then Keely came out, she smiled, she was holding a bouquet her parents made, they were full of golden roses. Keely didn't really know what to do till she remembered what her Mom told her, one step, wait, one step wait, and one step, wait… when Keely got to the end of the what seemed miles long red carpet, the "priest" came up the aisle. It was none other than, Mr. Hackett, but he didn't look like Mr. Hackett, he looked like an old straggly man. Phil and Keely laughed, everyone joined in.

Then Mr. Hackett cleared his throat, "Okay guys, I'm just going to make this quick," He flipped through the book, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Keely Teslow, do you take this "man", Philip Diffy, to be your husband?"

Keely smiled, "I do," she was trembling and was almost squeezing the sap out of the roses.

"Philip Diffy, do you take this "woman", Keely Teslow, to be your wife?"

Phil breathed at the word wife, "I… I do."

Tia and Seth were shaking as if they had just witnessed a ghost, this was it, the experience they should remember forever, Mr. Hackett flipped through his book, "Blah, blah, blah, you may now kiss the bride." Keely grabbed the back of Phil's head and kissed him deeply, this time Phil was prepared…

A Few Years Later

Phil and Keely ran off into their "Just Married" car, "I can't wait for the after party at the Sheraton!" Keely said.

"Me neither," Phil said popping off a cap from a champagne bottle, only now it's not apple juice.

A/N: I plan on doing a sequel starting from here, thanks for reading this story!


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